The Gift We All Can Give This Christmas - Part 3

This story of forgiveness reminds me of a story Truman Madsen told about George Albert Smith, who was a prophet of God. Pres. Smith was a peacemaker who sought never to "be an enemy to any living soul" (The Presidents of the Church, Madsen, p.222). The story goes as follows, "George Albert Smith had an old 1936 Ford with a very precious blanket on the front seat made by Navajo Indians; they had sewn the names of all the Twelve into the blanket, along with his own name. The car wasn't locked because it was in a guarded Church parking lot. But the blanket was stolen anyway. George Albert walked out from his meetings and found the blanket was gone. He could have called the mayor of Salt Lake City and said, 'What kind of city are you running? I'll have your head if you don't get that blanket back.' Or he could have called the chief of police and said the same thing. Or he might have said to the guard, probably a Latter-day Saint, 'Are you blind?' What did he do? He said simply, 'I wish we knew who it was so that we could give him the blanket also, for he must have been cold; and some food also, for he must have been hungry.'" (ibid., p.224). Now that is forgiveness! The situation was not as drastic as the one the Amish faced but Pres. Smith's response showed his forgiveness and love for others, even those who wronged him - especially those who wronged him.

Forgiveness is such an important principle and commandment that when Jesus taught His disciples how to pray He included the following phrase: "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors" (Matt. 6:12). Again, the lesson is that we are required to forgive others if we want to be forgiven. That seems like a pretty good condition for forgiveness. After Jesus ended His prayer He said, "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matt. 6:14-15). That seems like a strong case for the importance of forgiving others!

I have been writing about the need we have for forgiveness and to forgive others. To help me transition back to a Christmas theme, I will quote some of the lyrics from the hymn As Now We Take the Sacrament.

"As now our minds review the past,
We know we must repent;
The way to thee is righteousness—
The way thy life was spent.
Forgiveness is a gift from thee
We seek with pure intent.
With hands now pledged to do thy work,
We take the sacrament."

"Forgiveness is a gift" from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. It is Jesus' Christmas gift to each of us as we repent. Forgiveness is the gift that each of us, no matter how rich or poor we may be, can afford to give to someone this Christmas season. What greater gift is there than the peace that comes from wrongs and trespasses forgiven? What greater gift could we give ourselves than to let go of the hurt and bitterness and pain we retain when we are unforgiving? This Christmas, give the gift of forgiveness to someone who needs yours.

The Gift We All Can Give This Christmas - Part 2

Jesus accomplished all this to bring the possibility of eternal life to humankind. He did this because He loves us. By this love and His power we can be forgiven of our sins. We all make mistakes. We all sin and fall short of God's laws. But we can be forgiven. God said of Joseph Smith (and to each of us, for we all sin), "Nevertheless, he has sinned; but verily I say unto you, I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness, who have not sinned unto death." (D&C 64:7). [As an aside, I think that were Joseph not a prophet {and not honest} he would not have included this statement. After all, who likes to tell the world that they sinned?].

Because the Lord is so willing to forgive us, we are commanded to forgive one another, "Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (D&C 64:9-10). We are required to forgive all people - without condition. It does not matter what they did to us, the only thing that matters is forgiving. This does not me that we sanction people's misdeeds or sins. It also does not mean that we do not seek retribution - legally or one-on-one - but we should forgive. There is little more damaging to a person than the festering disease of an unforgiving attitude.

I'm going to quote at length from a talk Pres. James E. Faust gave in the April 2007 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This talk was one of his most moving and powerful talks. It was the last conference talk he gave.

"My dear brothers and sisters and friends, I come before you humbly and prayerfully. I wish to speak on the healing power of forgiveness.

"In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people live a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They work hard and live quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food comes from their own farms. The women sew and knit and weave their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.

"A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.

"This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, 'We will forgive you.'1 Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.

"One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, 'We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness.'2 It was an amazing outpouring of their complete faith in the Lord’s teachings in the Sermon on the Mount: 'Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.'3

"The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:

“'To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:

"'Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you’ve extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.

"'Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives.'4

"How could the whole Amish group manifest such an expression of forgiveness? It was because of their faith in God and trust in His word, which is part of their inner beings. They see themselves as disciples of Christ and want to follow His example.

"Hearing of this tragedy, many people sent money to the Amish to pay for the health care of the five surviving girls and for the burial expenses of the five who were killed. As a further demonstration of their discipleship, the Amish decided to share some of the money with the widow of the milkman and her three children because they too were victims of this terrible tragedy.

"Forgiveness is not always instantaneous as it was with the Amish. When innocent children have been molested or killed, most of us do not think first about forgiveness. Our natural response is anger. We may even feel justified in wanting to 'get even' with anyone who inflicts injury on us or our family.

"Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:

"'Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.'5

"Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

"Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.

"Forgiveness comes more readily when, like the Amish, we have faith in God and trust in His word. Such faith 'enables people to withstand the worst of humanity. It also enables people to look beyond themselves. More importantly, it enables them to forgive.'6"

This is a powerful example of people living the teachings of the Savior Jesus Christ. They were able to forgive the man who caused such great pain and tragedy. How many of us would feel those feelings of forgiveness in a similar circumstance? What if it were your little girl who had been shot and killed? Would you forgive? As the father of two beautiful girls, who are bright lights and joys in my life, I do not know how I would react. I'd like to believe I would be forgiving - I know I would but it might take a while; maybe not though. I hope I'm never in a similar circumstance.

The Gift We All Can Give This Christmas - Part 1

As Christmas day approaches some of us might be worried about getting presents and gifts planned, organized, completed, purchased, packed, wrapped, and shipped. Many might wonder how they are going to pay for presents. Others simply use credit and do not worry about paying for Christmas until their bills come due later (in fact, approximately 25% of Americans, according to one survey, take one year or more to pay off their Christmas debt {source}). Whether we can afford expensive gifts or no gifts, we can all afford one gift at Christmas - the gift of forgiveness. We can forgive others for any real or perceived wrongs they did unto us or loved ones and in turn we can be forgiven by God.

Pres. Henry B. Eyring wrote,

"Many of us have lost loved ones to death. We may be surrounded by individuals who seek to destroy our faith in the gospel and the Lord’s promises of eternal life. Some of us are troubled with illness and with poverty. Others may have contention in the family or no family at all. Yet we can invite the Light of Christ to shine on us and let us see and feel some of the promised joys that lie before us.

"For instance, as we gather in that heavenly home, we will be surrounded by those who have been forgiven of all sin and who have forgiven each other. We can taste some of that joy now, especially as we remember and celebrate the Savior’s gifts to us. He came into the world to be the Lamb of God, to pay the price of all of the sins of His Father’s children in mortality so that all might be forgiven. In the Christmas season we feel a greater desire to remember and ponder the Savior’s words. He warned us that we cannot be forgiven unless we forgive others (see Matthew 6:14–15). That is often hard to do, so you will need to pray for help. This help to forgive will come most often when you are allowed to see that you have given as much or more hurt than you have received.

"When you act on that answer to your prayer for strength to forgive, you will feel a burden lifted from your shoulders. Carrying a grudge is a heavy burden. As you forgive, you will feel the joy of being forgiven. At this Christmastime you can give and receive the gift of forgiveness. The feeling of happiness that will come will be a glimpse of what we can feel at home together in the eternal home for which we yearn." (Ensign, December 2009).

Forgiveness is precisely what Christmas is about. 2000 years ago a baby was born in humble circumstances. His birth came without much earthly adulation but the heavens were resplendent with signs and wonders for those with eyes to see and ears to hear. Angels appeared to shepherds, wise men followed a gleaming star, and the righteous and wicked alike went without night in the New World. That tiny baby was the Son of God, God Himself - the creator and Lord of heaven and earth. The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Isaiah, Moses, Nephi, Alma, and everyone else. He who showed his spirit body to the brother of Jared now had a body of flesh. Christ the Conquering King was yet the Babe in Bethlehem. There is little we know about His early life; we do know Jesus grew up in Nazareth - Bethlehem was merely the city of His birth. He was visited by wise men some time in his first few years of life. He grew up learning from Joseph and Mary. At age 12 He spent time teaching the priests in the temple - they marveled at His knowledge. How did a 12 year old boy know so much? At age 30 Jesus started His ministry full-time. Over the next three years He lived without a home, spending most of His time walking the dusty roads of Galilee and Jerusalem. He called men to be apostles. He taught, healed, and performed other miracles - the greatest were in forgiving sin. Jesus then instituted the sacrament, atoned for all the sins, sicknesses, and pain of humankind, stood trial, and died upon the cross. But that was not the end! On the 3rd day Jesus rose from the dead, bringing everlasting life to all people. He rose triumphant from the grave, victorious over death and hell.

BYU Speeches - Elder Holland

I've been enjoying listening to the New BYU Speeches podcast (link opens in iTunes). As soon as I subscribed, I downloaded two of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talks. The most recent was a BYU Devotional given in January 2009. It's called Remember Lot's Wife. It is one of the best speeches/talks I've heard in a long time (and all of Elder Holland's are wonderful). I've listened to it 3 times in the past 2 days.

The whole talk is great but here are a few quotes I think are particularly important (although that's a bit like saying we'll just focus on the eyes of the Mona Lisa while ignoring the whole painting).

"There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist...."

"When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal..." (emphasis added).

"Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come.'"

He also threw in one good joke: "Now, as a passing comment, I don’t know whether Lot’s wife, like Miniver, was a drinker, but if she was, she certainly ended up with plenty of salt for her pretzels."

Again, I think this talk is one of the best I've heard (it reminds me a bit of Elder Holland's talk An High Priest of Good Things to Come, which was given during the October 1999 General Conference). It's available in the New BYU Speeches podcast I linked to earlier. It's also available on the BYU Speeches website with a free PDF, free html, and a free MP3 of the talk.

A Father's Job

I've been reading the book Bonds that make us free by C. Terry Warner. It's life-changing. It's one of the most important books I've ever read. Even though the book is not scripture, I thought this short quote would be quite appropriate for this blog.

First, a little context. A man became upset at his children. He responded to them angrily and they started to cry. Realizing his error, he went to their room and asked for forgiveness. They quickly jumped into his arms and kissed him, forgiving him for any wrong. Now for the quote:

"Well, I leaned a lot of lessons from that. But the one that sticks with me the most, because I'm a father, is that it's a father's job to repent first. That's what is means to me to be a father - to be the first one to repent and heal the relationship. My children were anxious and willing to forgive and be friends with me. But I had to start it. It seems to me that that's the way relationships are healed. It's no more complicated than that. It may take longer in some cases, but there isn't much more to it than simply yielding your heart to what you know is the truth and saying, 'I'm sorry.'" (p. 261).

Even though I've only been a parent for just over four years, I've made my share of mistakes. Parenting is very hard work; it takes a lot of effort and patience. But it also take more than that; it takes love and selflessness. I find that pride and selfishness usually cause the most friction in relationships. As a parent, as a father, it is especially important to be the first one to repent and ask for forgiveness.

A Video of Forgiveness

Seth Adam Smith put together a little video of a portion of Pres. James E. Faust, who until his death was a member of the First Presidency and an Apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Pres. Faust shared a touching story about the power and example of forgiveness.

Come Buy Wine and Milk Without Money and Without Price, Part 3

Mercy is such an important principle that it is one of the main messages of the Book of Mormon. At the end of the first chapter of the first book in the Book of Mormon Nephi writes, "Behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Ne. 1:20). Jerusalem was about to be destroyed. Lehi had had a vision and started preaching the impending destruction of Jerusalem. It was not a popular message. However, the Lord was mindful of Lehi and his family. Lehi had a special calling to leave Jerusalem and work his way to a promised land. That is the Lord's mercy; He delivered Lehi's family from destruction. Their path was not easy but the Lord was merciful. Nephi explained how to obtain mercy - simply have faith in the Lord. The Lord has merciful feelings for all people. However, He can only be as merciful as people allow Him to be: "Thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him" (Mosiah 29:20). He cannot fully bless us with His mercy if we do not have faith in Him and if we do not pull all our trust in Him. To receive a fullness of mercy we must repent of our sins.

We can continue to trace the Lord's mercy throughout the Book of Mormon as people are freed from bondage - physical and spiritual. Even though much of the tone of the Book of Mormon is negative - it is after all, a chronicle of a civilization that destroys itself - there is always the underlying message of hope and mercy that things will work out in the end. There is repentance and forgiveness. There is mercy to be found. There is a Balm in Gilead. The Lord will "bind up the brokenhearted [and] proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.... [He will] comfort all that mourn; [and] appoint unto them that mourn in Zion [and] give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, the he might be glorified" (Isaiah 61:1-3). In these tender verses we learn of Christ's role as healer. He pours forth mercy unto those in need and comforts those who mourn: "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away" (Rev. 21:4). This is a promise given to those who return to live with God again.

Come Buy Wine and Milk Without Money and Without Price, Part 2

In what is one of the most moving descriptions of the Lord's mercy, the prophet Micah described the Lord's feelings for the House of Israel - for all of us. Even though the people were (and are) often unfaithful wives to the Bridegroom, the Lord is merciful. Notice how justice and mercy are both served: "Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me. Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him, until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness" (Micah 7:7-9). Micah later continues with a moving and loving description of the Lord: "Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnent of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy. He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea" (Micah 7:18-19). The Lord executes justice but he delights in mercy and is compassionate.

The Savior's life was filled with many acts of mercy. He gave sight to the blind; He cured all manners of infirmities; He cast out devils; He took time to bless children when He was tired and hungry; He even brought the dead to life. However, His greatest act of mercy was the Atonement. "And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam. And he suffereth this that the resurrection might pass upon all men, that all might stand before him at the great and judgment day" (2 Ne. 9:21-22). This single act made it possible for all to live again and for all to receive forgiveness of sins as they repent and have faith in the Lord. The way is prepared. "Come, my brethern, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money, come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price" (2 Ne. 9:50).